Amazon Prime rental again. I told you this was an expensive weekend.

Everyone was bummed out by Spiderman 2, so I’m guessing everyone involved thought, you know what we could really use? Two villains! No! Three. Nope…actually four. We’ll make Spiderman into a villian for a little minute too. We’ll have him go emo and dance down the street in a scene so cringy and awkward, it can only be rivaled by the scene where he goes to a jazz club and dances to torture MJ.

Also, we need more chicks, but like, more helpless. Extra helpless. Super duper over the top ridiculous helpless. Sweet. Let’s also make her blonde. We want to prove to people that we have original ideas.

Also, MaryJane exchanges some of her screaming in this one for crying, whining and very justified jealousy. It is disgusting that Peter kisses another girl when he’s going to propose to MJ. Dude. No.

So there is Topher Grace who turns from nerdy, desperate, people pleasing photographer, to murderous psychopath, willing to destroy Spiderman and everyone he loves…this is before venom gets into him, FYI. That’s just all him.

There is sad, gravel dude who wants to give his daughter the medical treatment she needs. Plot twist-he actually killed Uncle Ben.

There is Harry who tries to kill Peter multiple times but ends up changing in the end in a pretty soul crushing moment.

In true first Spiderman series fashion, there is a tear jerky moment where Peter confronts the murderer of his precious uncle and says, “I forgive you.” In this, he sets both himself and the gravel dude free. I loved that and possibly cried a little. Forgiveness is sacred even when it’s cheesy and given in a bad movie.

So, now we’ve come to the reboots. Yay!! I can’t wait. I love them!

Happy Spiderthon to you!