Spider-Man Review!

Due to the fact that another movie is coming out soon…and the fact that, apparently, lots of old Spidey-verse things show up in this next one…we have begun what I like to call, the Spiderthon (trademark patent pending).
And so we go back to 2002, which I usually think happened five years ago, but actually this movie is almost 20 years old. What nonsense. We rented it on Amazon, but it’s streaming on Starz if you own such luxuries.
Good ol’ Spiderman of the aughts. Good ol’ Tobey Macguire and Kirsten Dunst. James Franco is also in this, and I always thought he was significantly better looking and a significantly worse actor than Tobey.
I digress.
All the soul crushing moments you remember about this movie are still there. Ben Parker still dies for no reason. Peter still breaks MJ’s long awaited embrace at the end. Harry still vows to kill Spiderman.
Everything you remember fondly, is here too. Peter learning to use his webs and new found athleticism on top of a building in one afternoon: Spiderman saving MJ AND the gondola full of women and children: the crusty editor of the Daily Bugle refusing to reveal Peter’s identity even under threat of death…Peter still walks away slo-mo hero dude style at the end reminding us all that “With great power comes great responsibility.”
I forgot how much you have to cringe for these moments though. Peter still tells off his uncle not knowing it’s his last conversation with him. The super weird Green Goblin still bursts through a wall at Aunt May’s bedroom screaming at her to finish her prayer…why THIS exists I will never figure out.
Of course, for all great superhero films there must be a damsel in distress, and no damsel is more distressing than Mary Jane. She makes me want to take her out for cocoa, and buy her some clothes that don’t look like they shrunk in the dryer, and say, “Here’s the deal, sweet girl, every once in a while, you should think with your thinking brain instead of screaming at an ear splitting pitch. I know there’s nothing you can do about four monster dudes ganging up on you, but you can, you know, climb up the rock balcony before it gives way with you on it. You could’ve even climbed down the scaffold prolly. You live in New York, sister…stop it with the dark alleyways.”
She’s adorable though.
Worth a rewatch for the nostalgia factor. It’s my second least favorite Spiderman movie. I’ll keep you posted on the others.