Spider-Man Far From Home Review!
Ned and Betty dating for a hot minute in Europe. High school romances are only slightly less awkward and horrible than summer flings, which are only one cringey handhold away from Euro-vacation romances. This one is classic and adorable and awful for everyone on the outside looking in.
Peter accidentally ordering a drone strike on his classmate. Because you give teenage boys nice things and they do what teenage boys do.
Peter in the Netherlands reacting to everyone’s extraordinary kindness, which he desperately needed in that moment.
Peter and Happy on the airplane. Happy puts Peter back together and verbally hugs him. We all wanted to physically hug him and give him a sandwich in that moment. This pep talk is the least Happy can do. Thankfully, we all get to watch it and feel a little better.
Peter and MJ! Aw!! Since I so thoroughly disliked the first MJ, I must say, Zendaya’s interpretation of damaged and cynical teenage girl is so enjoyable. Thank you for this, spiderverse. It makes our recovery from previous trauma easier knowing we’re in good hands. (Favorite moment, bridge scene…especially the fact that she was bringing a MACE to come find Peter and see if he needed help. Beautiful!)
Mysterio’s illusions ending in Peter getting hit by a train! What on earth?! Who is heartless enough to do this to anyone, let alone Tom Holland?! I hate Jake Ghyllenhal forever for this. To be fair, I only actually liked him in one movie already, so he’s not losing much here.
A much older woman ordering Peter to strip in a random back room…excuse me, what?! We were supposed to hate the bad guy, but I actually hated this moment worse. Since when is it in any way okay for movies to depict an adult ordering a teenager to strip in front of them? How many levels of humans did this get through for the final cut and everyone was just like, “Oh sure, make a kid strip on this family movie, that’ll be cute.” If the genders had been reversed, you would be as incensed as I am right now, movie people. That is not okay or cute or funny. It’s wrong, and you all knew it and said it was okay anyway. Gross.
Deep Breath…I don’t hate everyone (sorry, just reminding myself that all of humanity is not as twisted and horrible as Hollywood.)
Last, and actually least, Flash getting met at the airport after the most traumatizing moments of his life by the butler and not his worried parents. Poor buddy! I will pick you up next time and bring you a sandwich.
Spiderman No Way Home is coming, folks! Thanks for taking this walk down memory lane with me. To all of you who read these reviews and like them, or laugh at them or roll your eyes at them, seriously, thanks for hanging with me. It makes me so happy to share thoughts on movies I adore or hate. This movie is definitely in the “adore” category. That one part just really got me enraged. Sorry to rant on our Spiderthon!